March was a difficult month in the Petersen home. It started wonderfully with Abram's baby blessing and mom's visit, but quickly went downhill when Noah came home with the worst flu bug we have encountered and it proceeded to infect half the family. Within days both Tyler and Naomi were sick. Tyler and I tag teamed waking up to take temperatures, give cool baths, and administer medicine. Noah eventually developed bronchitis- Naomi pneumonia. Each day I desperately prayed that Abram wouldn't become the next victim. Finally by the end of the month, everyone was doing much better. I was grateful, but my house was a mess and I was exhausted.
On the thirtieth of March Tyler was scheduled to be sworn in before a federal judge as an attorney. That morning, Tyler mentioned he would like to have some friends over for dinner afterward to celebrate. He would cook dinner, all I had to do was make a cake. But like I said, my house was a mess so I felt the need to clean and the three kids and I had to be ready to leave by 1:30. Looking back, It doesn't seem like it should have been that hard, but that morning I felt terribly overwhelmed, depressed, and grumpy. My feelings intensified when my cake fell and I ended up having to bake another. After the second cake was finished I tackled the dishes. When they were done I picked up toys and swept the floor so I could mop. I asked the kids to stay upstairs but they kept coming downstairs to get a drink, ask if they could help me, complain about the other sibling bothering them. It's not that they were doing anything so horrible or out of character for a little four and two year old, but at the time, I didn't feel like I could handle their questions, needs, and curious little fingers getting into things a moment longer.
Finally I looked at Noah and shouted, "I just can't be a good mom right now. I need you take Naomi and go Upstairs. I just can't be a good mom. You have to go." His shoulders slumped and his lip quivered as his eyes filled with tears and he took Naomi's hand and went up the stairs. Guilt now joined my overwhelming mixture of emotions and I abandoned my mop as tears of my own began to flow. The look on Noah's face continued to replay in my mind. I felt like a terrible mother. I didn't know how I could possibly get everything done in time. I felt utterly overwhelmed. Suddenly, there was Noah. He looked at me for a moment then gently wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you." For the next few minutes he continued to comfort me while I cried. I could not help but think, "This is backwards. It's me who should be comforting him." But I knew that it was I who needed comfort and it was not just my little boy telling me of his love, it was my Father in Heaven. Returning to my mop, the task at hand didn't seem nearly as impossible as it did minutes before. My energy was renewed with the knowledge that I had a Father in Heaven who is aware of my struggles and that he will help me through them.
I have no doubt that in our moments of need Heavenly Father inspires individuals to be his angels. That day, it was Noah. Standing in front of me he could have said any number of things, but instead he wrapped his arms around me and spoke the words I needed to hear most. At that moment, Noah was more than a little boy. He was my Angel.
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